Self improvement is tough. Changing your thoughts, emotions or behavior is not easy. We’re hard- wired to resist change, even when we know it’s good for us. Why is self improvement so hard? And how can we stay motivated?
Self improvement can be a lonely journey. Whether you’re trying to improve your self-esteem, communication skills, or productivity habits, you often don’t have anyone to talk to about what you’re going through.
You work hard to change, but it often feels like you haven’t made any progress at all. One moment you feel confident and invincible, the next, you’re drowning in self-doubt.
So how to do we stay motivated on our self improvement journey?
“Self-knowledge and self-improvement are very difficult for most people. It usually needs great courage and long struggle.”
Abraham Maslow
Why is Self Improvement so Hard
We can learn a new language, teach ourselves to code, or pick up a new instrument rather easily. No problem.
But when it comes to self-correction — actually improving on our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors—it’s a mind numbingly slow, ‘one step forward, two steps back’ kind of process.
Hard Skills vs. Soft Skills
The way we learn hard skills is different from how we learn soft skills. If you want to improve on your hard skills, it’s not always easy, but it’s straight forward. There’s a step by step process for how to learn.
However, soft skills are more difficult to define. Skills such as: communication, confidence, empathy, or emotional maturity. There’s no clear, step-by-step method you can apply.
Self improvement means navigating your inner world with no guide maps. There’s no concrete way to track your progress other than your own feelings, personal experiences, or if you’re lucky – honest feedback from others.
Information Overwhelm
It’s often overwhelming how much self improvement advice is out there. We’re constantly bombarded by helpful messages competing for our attention.
We know there’s some things we need to change within ourselves, but the list feels endless and we don’t know where to start.
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- The Fear of Being Ordinary
Comparing Ourselves to Others
Another reason why self improvement is tough is because we compare ourselves to others.
Confidence might be an area you really struggle with. But for your friends and coworkers, it seems that confidence just comes naturally for them. This leaves us feeling alienated and inadequate.
You feel ashamed for having to try so hard at something that comes so easily for others. While it’s tempting to compare our ourselves with peers, it only makes us feel less than and stops us from moving forward.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Teddy Roosevelt
How to Stay Motivated on Your Self Improvement Journey
I know what it’s like to feel discouraged when working to improve yourself. My biggest struggle has been overcoming self-doubt and insecurity. Although I’ve made much progress in this area, there are still days I’m down on myself for not being as fearlessly confident as I’d like to be.
But here’s how I’ve learned to stay motivated when self-improvement gets tough. I hope this helps you continue on your own self-healing journey. Although it can be hard work, it’s definitely worth it in the end.
1. Celebrate How Far You’ve Come
Instead of focusing on how far you’ve still got to go, remind yourself of the progress you’ve made so far. Celebrate even small ‘wins.’
Inner change happens gradually. It’s easy to forget that months ago we did not have the same confidence, calmness, or personal boundaries we have now.
Even small, seemingly unimportant changes will lead to noticeable results with time.
For example, every time you’re able to say ‘no’ without guilt you’re building a new habit. Soon, it’ll become automatic. But the shift is so gradual we didn’t even realize how far you’ve come until you look back and acknowledge it. So celebrate your progress – you deserve it.
2. Slow Down and Digest
Take time to reflect on what you’re learning. Don’t just consume information nonstop. Merely consuming more information is not always helpful. Instead, take some quiet time to really process and reflect on valuable information you’ve learned.
If you’re reading a powerful book, don’t just rush through to the end. Slow down. Reflect on what you’re learning and how it relates to your life.
When you finish a book or course, resist the urge to rush to the next one. Reflect on the new wisdom with quiet time or by writing in your journal. This will help you personalize the advice. It’ll prevent you from feeling overwhelmed by too much information.
3. Find What Inspires You
Self improvement can be extremely rewarding. When you let go of limiting beliefs, you feel lighter, more joy, and see the world from a whole new perspective.
But the journey is also filled with struggle, self-doubt, and regression. It’s important to find meaning in the struggle. This is what keeps you inspired to continue on.
Find what inspires you and surround yourself with it every day. It may be quotes from your favorite philosopher. Or reading from a religious or spiritual text. It may be listening to interviews with people you inspire to be like.
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
For me, it’s reading new age-y, spiritual books. These help me believe there is more to life than just what we can see. And that working on ourselves is not some punishment for being flawed, but rather a meaningful journey that helps us get in touch with the highest parts of ourselves. My all-time favorite is Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav.
Find what makes the journey meaningful for you, and remind yourself of it daily. Remember that you’re never alone — you’re constantly surrounded with guidance, potential mentors, and many others who are on the same path as you.
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thanks for info