Insecurity is like being in a dead-end relationship. It’s hard to let go of because it’s all you’ve known your whole life. However, it only causes so much pain and keeps you from living your best life. Here are ’15 Reasons Why Insecurity is a Waste of Time.’
I hope this list reminds you that the time to act is NOW. Don’t let one more day go by without challenging your insecurities!
Stop Wasting Time
It’s so easy to become complacent and forget how insecurity is wasting our time. However, we need to be honest with ourselves about how much it is hurting our mental and emotional health, as well as holding us back from the things we want most in life.
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to change a whole mindset over night. It does take time because insecurity is an ingrained habit you’ve had since childhood. But each day, and every moment counts.
Every time you let an insecure thought slide by unchallenged, you’re only reinforcing the bad habit. You’re making it easier for your brain to create those negative thoughts again and again.
Change is Possible
Instead, start challenging your thinking and replacing it with new, self-loving and compassionate thoughts. It might feel awkward at first, but even little habits add up to big changes over the long run.
Then you’ll look back and see how much letting go of your insecurities has drastically improved your life!
Read Related: Why I (Finally) Became an Optimist
How I Finally Realized Insecurity is a Waste of Time
The biggest regret so far in my life, is that I wasted so much time being insecure. I idly stood back and let my doubtful, self-loathing, insecure thoughts rule my mind. I was complacent and scared to make a change.
And because of this, much of my time in my early adult life was wasted wallowing in fear, anxiety, and self-pity. Precious time and years of my life that I will never get back.
For instance, I didn’t get to fully enjoy my high school or college years. Instead, I was mainly a hermit with no social life.
There were so many amazing people who I crossed paths with, but I did not have the confidence to talk to them. Or when they did try to connect with me I put up my walls, out of fear I’d only get rejected. On top of deep insecurity, I also had crippling social anxiety.
I wasted too much time believing in lies about myself. I don’t know exactly where they came from or how I got that way, but that’s not important. What’s really important is: the solution.
The Time to Act is Now
Although, I wish I could turn back time and redo those golden years, I can’t. However, it’s not worth it to wallow in sadness and lament over the past.
So when you think about your own insecurities and how they’re holding you back – be careful not to get sucked into a self-pity party. Let go of playing the victim or wallowing too long in sadness. Instead, turn that upset into anger.
It may sound strange, but anger is the fuel for change. Sadness, despair or victimhood – only keep up stuck in the same negative cycles. Instead, allow yourself to get angry – at your insecurity – because of all the havoc it’s had or is still wreaking in your life. Because of all the pain it’s made you feel.
So remind yourself often why insecurity is a waste of time AND that you need to do something about your insecurity ASAP. You must stay motivated to keep making the changes you want to see.
Don’t Be Sad, Get Angry
Anger is a step up from despair and sadness. It empowers us to make real change -within ourselves and our lives.
I found a great article, Nataliebybee.com, that explains this perfectly:
“Anger fuels change. Few emotions evoke action like anger. Your body gets a surge of adrenaline, creating a boost of power. This power can be used to do things that you may not normally have the courage to do. By channeling it, you can use anger in very productive ways to create meaningful change.”
#1 It Makes You Unhappy
Being insecure only leads to unhappiness. It makes you feel inferior to others, sad, afraid, anxious, or even depressed. When you don’t feel good about yourself, it’s difficult to feel good about anything else.
Insecurity is a waste of time because it makes you worry incessantly about yourself. You can’t be present in the moment or be able to be yourself without being overly self-conscious.
#2 It Makes You Believe You’re Not Enough
Insecurity makes you believe you’re not good enough. You compare yourself to others and feel like you don’t measure up. This belief likely originated from a negative childhood experience.
The negative words from our parents or school mates influence our self image as children. As adults it’s hard to shake off these negative beliefs about ourselves.
When you believe you’re not enough, you waste time trying to ‘prove’ yourself – either to your own self or others. You try too hard to convince others you’re enough because you don’t believe it yourself. You can’t be present, because you’re unconsciously trying to prove yourself all the time.
#3 It’s Physically Painful
Feeling insecure is also physically painful. Insecurity is often felt as an upset or knot in your stomach, shame, guilt or even anxiety. Sometimes it feels like pain in your chest and like you can’t breathe. You don’t have the energy to do all the things you want to.
When you feel the negative emotions of insecurity, it’s hard to focus your attention upon anything else. Instead, you want to hide away or stay in bed all day.
#4 Stops You from Forming Meaningful Relationships
Another reason why insecurity is a waste of time is because it keeps you from forming close relationships with other people. When you don’t feel like you’re enough, you feel ashamed of being your true self.
However, you can’t form truly meaningful relationships if you don’t have the confidence to be your honest, authentic self.
Being insecure can also make you anxious about meeting new people. This holds you back from connecting with others because of the intense fear of rejection.
You also may meet many people that otherwise would become great friends, but because you doubt that they’d like you, you don’t even bother to try.
This one of the worst parts of having insecurities. We all long for meaningful relationships with others. It’s in our nature to have intimate social connections. But when we falsely believe that there’s something wrong with us or we just don’t belong, we isolate ourselves and become disconnected.
#5 You Fear Failure
No one likes to fail or make mistakes. But when you’re insecure, the fear of failure can become crippling and stop you from taking any action at all. This is because when you don’t believe you’re enough just the way you are, you’ll search for validation outside of yourself such as accomplishments, success or positive feedback.
But when you’re insecure, failure is another reason to believe you’re unworthy. Insecurity makes you internally beat yourself up for being imperfect, thus making you fear failure.
Fearing failure holds you back from taking necessary risks that lead to success. Without failing sometimes, you won’t ever succeed either.
However, when you’re confident and grounded in who you really are, then you don’t fear failure as much. You’ll know your worthy whether you make mistakes, or succeed or fail.
#6 You Are Overly Critical of Yourself
If you have insecurity, then you’re probably aware of the constant inner critic that comes with it. This critic is the negative inner dialogue that critics your every action. It’s always comparing you to others and nothing you do ever feels like it’s enough.
You try so hard to achieve your goals, but even when you do succeed, this inner critic makes it feel like you still have not done enough.
Even over things you can’t control, like whether others like you – insecurity will berate you as if it’s your fault. It won’t ever give you credit for the things you do right or have accomplished. All you can see is your shortcomings and failures.
Even making small mistakes when you’re insecure can feel extremely painful. The automatic inner voice of insecurity berates your every action -making you overly self-conscious and seeking validation outside of yourself. This only continues the negative feedback loop that insecurity thrives on.
#7 It Makes you a Perfectionist
Insecurity comes with having a harsh inner critic. This leads to making you a perfectionist. Perfectionists feel psychologically compelled to be flawless all the time. They’re scared of failure and of making even little mistakes.
Perfectionists cling to unrealistic ideals of how they should act or lives must be in order for them to feel worthy. Contrary to what most people may believe, being a perfectionist does not make you a more successful achiever.
Many times, it just stops you from even trying at all because you believe if you can’t do it perfectly you shouldn’t attempt at all. This creates the bad habit of procrastination and all-or-nothing type thinking.
The intense fear of rejection drives perfectionism. You falsely believe that if you create a ‘perfect’ facade, it’ll protect you from the disapproval and criticism from others. This only leads to burnout, a lack of boundaries, and poor mental health.
#8 You Can’t Feel Good about Yourself
It’s tough to feel good about anything in life, if you don’t first feel good about who you are. Instead, you waste time wallowing in self-pity, doubt, and shame. You don’t give yourself credit for all the wonderful, unique things that make you you. Instead, you ridicule yourself for your differences and only see shortcomings.
Feeling good about yourself doesn’t mean you believe you’re better than others. It’s not about being cocky or self-centered. We all deserve to feel good about who we are, because only then can we share our gifts and talents with the world in a meaningful way.
#9 You’re Unable to Be Your Authentic Self
When you’re caught up in insecurity, you’re not free to be your most authentic, real self. When you don’t feel good about who you are, it’s extremely difficult to be vulnerable and honest with others.
Insecurity will hold you back from speaking out your honest opinions. This is crucial for career success and for healthy relationships.
You falsely believe that your opinions don’t matter, or that they’re not as good as others.’ This perspective is only a big waste of time.
You can’t connect with others or be a strong leader, if you’re scared to be authentic. Being authentic means having to go against the crowd sometimes. It means sharing an unpopular opinion or embarrassing hobby. It means forgetting about seeking approval and instead prioritizing being true to who you really are.
#10 You Feel Guilty When You Don’t Deserve to
Another painful part of insecurity is the self-inflicted guilt trips that come with it. Insecurity makes you feel guilty about things that are most times not even your fault.
You regret events from the past and beat yourself up for actions you did or didn’t take.
Of course, it is healthy to have some guilt over past actions that was hurtful to others. It helps us learn and make better choices. But when you’re insecure, you falsely believe you’re responsible for things that are not even within your control.
This also makes it easy for you to fall into guilt trips brought on by others. Some toxic people use guilt as a way to manipulate your actions.
For example, when you want to say no to a request but someone uses guilt to make you believe you’re being selfish for having personal boundaries.
When you don’t have confidence in yourself, you’re vulnerable to feeling guilty for things you shouldn’t have to feel guilty about – such as others’ emotions or prioritizing your personal needs first.
#11 You Care Too Much About What People Think
Being insecure makes you care too much about what other people think. This is only a waste of time because no one can predict or control how others perceive them. The only thing we can control is what we choose to believe about ourselves.
But when you’re insecure, you’re often not even aware of how much you’re seeking the approval of others. It may even be an unconscious, automatic habit.
Caring about what other people think will keep you from living life on your own terms. Instead, you’ll chase after goals that aren’t even yours, but rather are means to obtain approval from others.
When you care too much about what other people think, you give away your personal power. You become a slave to the opinions of others.
You believe your worth is only determined if other people deem you valuable. You’re not free to be your real self or live a life that is in line with our own highest values.
#12 You Get Easily Taken Advantage Of
The next reason why insecurity is a waste of time is it makes it easier for you to be taken advantage of. Being insecure makes you not trust your own judgement. You question your opinions and gut instincts. And instead, you rely too much on others for decision making or advice.
This makes you susceptible to being taken advantage of by others. For example, you might go along with something you think is wrong but don’t have the confidence to speak up about. Or you’re too nice and can’t say ‘no.’
Unfortunately, there are many manipulative people who will try to benefit from your passivity and lack of personal boundaries.
#13 You Don’t Share Your Unique Talents with the World
No matter who you are, we all have something unique to positively contribute to the world. But insecurity holds you back from having the confidence to share your talents with the world. It makes you falsely believe you don’t have anything to contribute, and so you don’t even try.
You falsely believe that others are smarter or more talented than you. This creates an inferiority complex and significantly holds you back in life.
However, when people don’t contribute in ways they’re able to, the whole world suffers from the loss of creative solutions to critical problems that plague society.
#14 It Gives you a False Sense of Control
Although there are so many negative side effects of insecurity, it does come with one small ‘benefit.’ It creates a false sense of control over one’s life and circumstances.
Overcoming insecurity requires stepping into the unknown. Others might like the ‘real’ you or they might not. You might succeed at your dreams or you could fail.
But insecurity creates a false sense of certainty – you don’t have to worry about failing if you never try in the first place. You don’t have to deal with rejection if you never open yourself up to others. It’s more comfortable to ‘know’ a false, negative version of yourself than embracing the unknown parts of yourself.
However, this sense of control is only a waste of time because it’s an illusion. The harsh reality is we’re never in complete control of our life circumstances. And no matter how hard we try, we can never control whether others choose to love us or not.
#15 Insecurity Stops You From Enjoying Life to the Fullest
The last reason why insecurity is a waste of time is that it stops you from fully enjoying life. It robs you from being fully present in the moment. Instead, you’re caught up in your head – worrying about whether you’re good enough.
Insecurity also makes you believe you don’t even deserve to be happy. Or you don’t deserve to be successful. You might even self-sabotage when things start going well. This will keep you from living life to the fullest. You first have to believe you’re worthy of a full, happy life before you can create one.
Next Steps
Now that you’ve learned 15 reasons why insecurity is a waste of time, I hope it inspires you to take action. Stop giving into the lies that insecurity makes you believe. Make it a point to release negative thoughts and replace them with ones that inspire confidence and self-love.
It’s important to become aware of how insecurity is making you unhappy and holding you back.
It takes massive determination and a strong desire to create lasting change within ourselves. But the more you realize how insecurity is ruining your life, the stronger your desire will be to change.
Stop being complacent with your self doubt and insecurity. Commit to becoming the confident, self-loving version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be. Change is possible. It starts with challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with self love.
So, if you’re like me, then insecurity has wasted many years of your life. However, today is a new day.
Stop letting it waste your precious time. Take the leap of believing you’re already enough just as you are now. Then see how your life will change for the better!
