3 Unexpected Lessons from ‘Will’ – Will Smith’s Memoir

I don’t normally read auto-biographies but I just couldn’t resist this one. Will is a memoir of one of the most successful actors of our time – Will Smith. Here are three of my favorite unexpected lessons from this memoir.

It was co-written by him and the talented Mark Manson. It was published just last year – November, 2021.

Mark Manson is one of my favorite self-help authors. Seeing his name made me want to read this book even more. He wrote the best-selling – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***. He also writes “self-help that doesn’t suck” on his blog markmanson.net.

This book tells the inspiring true story of Will’s early childhood, rise to fame, and challenges along the way. Written in his unique voice and comedic style.

I liked how this book was candid, honest and revealed Will’s lessons learned and darkest moments. It’s not just an ode to how great he is, but rather shows his vulnerable side. He reveals how he achieved his success and what makes him tick – his dreams and biggest fears.

So read on for my 3 Unexpected Lessons from Will – a Memoir (Will Smith & Mark Manson) :

#1 Lay One Brick at a Time

Okay, so you’ve probably heard this one before, but bear with me.

Will Smith, one of the most successful actors of all time, said it’s helped him achieve his biggest, seemingly impossible goals.

When he was eleven, his father made him and his brother build a large brick wall for their AC repair shop. They worked on it every day for almost a year.

His father overheard Will and his brother complaining. He replied. “ ‘Stop thinking about the damn wall!’ he said. ‘There is no wall. There are only bricks. Your job is to lay this brick perfectly. Then move on to the next brick. Then lay that brick perfectly. Then the next one. Don’t be worrying about no wall. Your only concern is one brick.’ ” (Will,2021)

This lesson may seem obvious. But all too often we forget about the consistent daily habits and small tasks that compose our larger goals.

Nowadays, this is commonly referred to as being ‘process-oriented’ rather than goal-oriented. When we set big goals, focusing on the outcome feels overwhelming.

It seems impossible and we can’t conceive how we’re going to achieve it.

Instead, focus on doing the individual, manageable tasks consistently and as best as you can. Eventually, doing quality and consistent work will add up to large payoffs.

Will adds,

“I started to see the difference between a task that feels impossible and a task that feels doable is merely a matter of perspective. Are you paying attention to the wall? or are you paying attention to the brick?”

Will Smith, (Will)

Read More: How to Mindfully Embrace Fear & Anxiety

#2 Everyone has Insecurities

As someone who’s been struggling with deep insecurity for much of my life, it amazes me when I discover that people who seem so effortlessly confident, have the same insecurities too.

When you think of the epitome of confidence and charisma – it’s got to be Will Smith. It’s hard not to envy him – he seems to have it all – good looks, wit, a successful acting AND music career, a family, and a long-lasting marriage.

But in Will, he admits his relentless ambition was largely fueled by his addiction to approval from others.

He writes:

“What you have come to understand as ‘Will Smith,’ the alien-annihilating MC, the bigger-than-life movie star, is largely a construction – a carefully crafted and honed character – designed to protect myself. To hide myself from the world. To hide the coward.”

Will Smith, Will

We all have similar insecurities but different ways of trying to conceal them. Some of these patterns may be beneficial, while others are destructive.

Healing requires resolving these deep held insecurities and replacing negative coping behaviors with healthier ones.

Read More: How to Discover What you Truly Want

Will admits that he didn’t know how to stop and relax. He was addicted to constantly hustling, working and achieving. But underlying this was a compulsion to avoid his darker feelings.

Eventually he resolved this by adapting less rigid behaviors. He took time to improve his mental and emotional health while finding approval from within himself.

We must remember that everyone struggles with insecurities and hidden fears. So be compassionate towards yourself for having them too.

However, this doesn’t mean you become complacent. Instead, work to resolve insecurities so you can enjoy your success without the stress of needing it to feel worthwhile.

Read More: Why I Finally Chose to become an Optimist

#3 Balance Action with Surrender

The last lesson learned from Will Smith’s memoir is to balance action with surrender. Will admits his extreme work ethic started to create problems in his personal life, especially in his relationship with his wife Jada and their children. 

The strife and emotional turmoil caused him to take a step back. He discovered meditation and the power of stillness. 

He underwent therapy and became a voracious reader. He even had multiple eye-opening experiences with ayahuasca. 

Will explains, “I had had a bias toward action – thrusting, pushing, striving, struggling, doing – and I began to realize that their opposites were equally as powerful – inaction, receptiveness, acceptance, non-resistance, being.”

He realized he could still achieve his goals without having to sacrifice his boundaries, relationships or mental health. He could still succeed without having to be in a constant state of striving and fighting.

“Stopping was equally as powerful as going; resting was equally as powerful as training; silence was equally as powerful as talking.”

(Will Smith, Will)

After years of hustling, relentless drive, striving, demanding, workaholism – he realized it’s not the only way to achieve success. That there’s also enormous power in letting go, surrendering, and going with the flow of the universe – instead of trying to bend it to his every whim.

He writes, “ ‘Surrender’ to me no longer meant defeat – it was now an equally powerful tool of manifestation. Losing could be equal to winning in terms of my growth and development.”

Slowing Down

I think we need to challenge the paradigm that the only way to success is to become a workaholic. That we must sacrifice happiness and personal relationships now for the hope of greater fulfillment in the future. Doing so makes us numb to our feelings and lose touch with the present moment.

Of course, achieving any goal does take discipline, hard work and sacrifice.

But if we live only for the future, even when it comes, we don’t know how to be content. We’re constantly searching for the next best thing.

The road to success doesn’t have to be all-consuming. So learn to relax, surrender to what is, and enjoy the journey too.

Closing Thoughts

Thank you for reading my 3 Unexpected Lessons from Will.

I highly recommend this book if you’re looking for an entertaining and inspiring true story. I enjoyed learning how Will Smith learned to find inner peace through meditation and stillness. And how he overcame his inner demons through therapy and self-reflection.

Co-author Mark Manson did not disappoint. His unique style of writing came through in the mesmerizing way Will’s personal stories and life lessons were told. I could not put this book down. It normally takes me about a month to finish one book. I read Will in a little over a week.

It always amazes me when reading an autobiography to discover how much we can relate to one another. Even though we come from different backgrounds, culture, or generations, we all inherently share the same fears, self-doubts, and desires. We all want to love and be loved, and discover our best selves.

By sharing our personal stories, we help each other remember we’re not alone, and share the life lessons we’ve learned along the way. So I recommend checking out this new book if you’re looking for an inspiring and funny memoir.

Read Next: 10 Powerful Ways Mindfulness Changed My Life