Skydiving on Oahu, HI (2018).

Whenever we try to change anything in our lives, there are two voices that pop into our heads: the voice of courage and the voice of fear. Fear is the voice of the old: the tried and true. It is the voice of our unconscious, automatic patterns that resist change. You need courage to make a change because choosing anything new means facing your fear of the unknown.

Change is tough. It requires making new, conscious choices again and again, until it finally becomes an automatic habit. 

Personal growth can transform your life for the better – but it’s not easy. It’s so much easier to live on autopilot and being a creature of habit.  All change must start with cultivating courage. Whether you’re trying to start a new career, release a negative habit, or leave a dead-end relationship, the cultivation of courage is not just helpful but absolutely necessary.

A picture of me skydiving this took immense courage to do
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Finding the Courage to Make a Change

I used to hear the word courage and think it was just a bunch of garbage – some corny advice adults gave to their children, but did not practice themselves. Another ‘should’ added to an endless list of pseudo virtues: we should eat healthy, we should go to church, we should exercise regularly. 

We all know we should face our fears and conquer them. But it’s much easier said than done.

Most of my life, I’ve struggled to overcome paralyzing insecurities and intense social anxiety.

Looking back, I’ve realized the most important trait that has transformed me into the happier, more confident person I am today is: courage.

Courage was there for me through all the challenges life has thrown at me. 

It has helped me to move forward even when I’ve told myself again and again, “I’m going to change,” and I fail. 

It’s given me the strength to keep my head up when I take three steps forward, only to fall four steps back into suffocating anxiety.

Courage gave me the power to believe in myself and stand up to the fearful voices in my head. Cultivating courage is like building a muscle that gets stronger with practice and persistence.

courage is like walking on a path that will lead to your destiny

Courage is the Key to Real Change

I’ve been a self-help junkie since I was seventeen, always searching for ways to attain greater self-love and peace of mind. 

I can’t count all of the self-help books I’ve read. I’ve tried it all: positive affirmations, meditation, Nuero-linguistic Programming (NLP), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and so on. 

When I look back and compare myself now to who I was then, only one thing has really changed: I’ve become more courageous. 

Same old me, just less fearful. 

Challenging the inner fears that once wrecked my mind changed me into a happier, calmer, more confident person overall.

The cultivation of courage lays the groundwork for all change and transformation to happen. It is the oil that gets our gears turning.  Courage unites our heart, mind, and body to act as one towards our intention.

Commitment Requires Courage

To make a change requires commitment, which takes courage. When you want to achieve something or act in a different way, you must keep making that decision – again and again, until no other outcome is entertained.

Every decision to change a habit, negative behavior, or any part of our lives will be met with resistance from our unconscious selves. But if we stick to our commitment to change, we will succeed.

It’s like forging a new path in the messy jungle that is your mind. You must make the decision to change, and then stick with it no matter what comes up or how many times you fail.

Change means challenging the known and placing our faith in an uncertain outcome.  Courage is putting your faith in action.

Picture of a red flower on the Big Island of Hawaii. Flowers embrace change and remind us of the courage needed to be vulnerable.
Big Island of Hawaii (2018).

A New Perspective

When you choose to change, you challenging your current perception of reality – and that’s not easy. 

It comes with facing fearful thoughts, painful memories, negative emotions, and limiting beliefs. You are challenging your most fundamental security blanket – who you believe yourself to be.

Courage is more than just an act. It is a kind of faith in the best version of who you are. 

It’s an inner nudge that whispers, “You are more than this.” 

It is only through this kind of faith in ourselves, that we can experience who we really are.

Change is always going to be scary. Each step forward comes with challenging old fears and limiting beliefs. It requires breaking apart your ego and slowly rebuilding your self-identity, piece by piece.

So, before you decide to give up or give in, ask yourself this simple question, “Who do I want to be?”

Will you choose to stand back and let others determine that answer for you? Will you let past events or current circumstances define how you live your life?

Instead, choose the path of courage and dare to become the person your heart is calling you to be. In the end, what matters most is not what we accomplish or accumulate, but who we choose to be in each moment.

Picture of myself hiking up a forest path in Hawaii. Symbolic of the climb I've made in my personal growth due to courage.
Hiking on Oahu, HI (2016).

I’m still on my own journey of becoming the most authentic, highest version of myself. Although, I don’t exactly who that is or where I’ll be five years from now. 

All I know for sure about the highest version of myself is that she is courageous. So each day I will continue to do my best to show up as her – choosing self-love over doubt, self-compassion over shame, and courage over fear. 

So let’s continue this journey together and share in our experiences!

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