Does taking on your New Year’s resolutions feel you with excitement and motivation? If it doesn’t, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Maybe you have no idea where this year will take you. Or perhaps you don’t have the slightest clue about what you really want in life.
Don’t fret, we’ve all been there. Read on for why it’s okay to be lost.
A New Perspective on Being Lost
I started to write this on the last day of 2022. As I reflected on the past year, I felt excited and hopeful about the future. However, I didn’t always feel this way.
Moving abroad to a foreign country has left me feeling all sorts of confusion. I’ve had to start a new career, make new friendships, and learn a new language. I honestly don’t have a clear idea about where I’ll be five years from now.
But if I’ve learned anything these past few months it’s this: stop trying to fight this feeling of being lost, and instead, learn to embrace it. Let go of trying to micromanage everything in life.
There will never be a time when life has no uncertainties. So stop waiting for perfection and move into action.
Sometimes Self-Reflection is an Endless Rabbit Hole
Don’t get me wrong – I love self-reflection. I’m a big believer that there are so many benefits to it. Such as changing negative habits, building self-love, developing higher self-awareness etc. But self-reflection alone can only take you so far.
Sometimes, when we try so desperately to search for answers through self-reflection, our search becomes an empty black hole.
We try to find answers to questions like:
- What do I really want?
- Where am I going?
- What path should I take?
- What’s the point?
- Who am I?
Don’t get me wrong -self-reflection is a great tool. But it also has its limitations. When we reflect on these type of big questions we often can’t find the answers we’re seeking. And this leads us to only feeling more lost and hopeless. We believe we should have all answers – and if we don’t then something’s wrong.
But, this is just not true. It’s okay to not have life completely planned out. It’s okay to be lost.
Read Related: Change Your Story to Change Your Life
Move into Action
The reality is – we can’t find the answers to questions like ‘What path should I take?’ by sitting around and merely thinking about it.
We can only find answers through living life. Through trial and error. By experimenting. By doing the next best thing and taking action.
We must allow ourselves to fail and fall flat on our faces. Only then do we discover who we really are, what we truly value, and which path is the right one for us.
But in the meantime, you have to be okay with being lost.
Read Related: 10 Powerful Ways Mindfulness Improved My Life
Why It’s Okay to Be Lost
1. Forcing Solutions is Not the Answer
When we’re forced to confront uncertainty it gets really uncomfortable. In a world that never shuts up – not knowing is viewed as a weakness that must be avoided at all costs.
We’d rather pretend we know something rather than be honest and admit our ignorance.
But ignorance is not a bad thing, as long as we’re aware of it. It allows us the inner space necessary to find answers to life’s most important questions.
Quick-Fix Solutions Lead to Bad Decisions
Allowing ourselves to feel lost means being able to embrace uncertainty. But when we resist uncertainty, we force quick-fix solutions onto problems just so we can feel better momentarily. Although we feel better in the short-term, bad decision-making leads to unhappiness in the long term.
If you don’t know who you are or what you really want in life – it’s okay to admit this. Be honest with yourself, and then work to find what truly inspires you.
Take time to explore who you are and what truly matters to you. Don’t let others, or your own fearful self, pressure you into making rash decisions.
Read Also: Why You Should Stop Searching for Meaning
2. The Unknown Brings New Possibilities
In one of my favorite books of all time Courage, Osho writes:
“If you understand, insecurity is an intrinsic part of life – and good that it is so, because it makes life a continuous surprise… Don’t call it uncertainty – call it wonder. Don’t call it insecurity – call it freedom.”
There’s immense freedom that comes with being ‘lost’ in life – because it means there’s room for new possibilities. You’re not tied to one specific outcome. You’re free to create a whole new path for yourself – and a life that you truly love.
Imagine knowing exactly where you’ll be five or ten years from now. You might think this would be comforting. But in fact, it would be so boring. Life would become dull and uninspiring. You wouldn’t feel challenged or excited.
Life was not meant to have fixed, determined outcomes with no room for surprises or spontaneity. Although it’s scary at times, the unknown in your life leaves space for new beginnings.
3. It Means You’ve Outgrown Your Past
It’s okay to be lost because it means you’ve outgrown your old, limited sense of self. It means you’ve successfully let go of negative habits, people, and environments that no longer serve you.
While this is a good thing, it usually doesn’t feel this way at first. After releasing a past version of yourself, you feel empty – like you don’t know who you are or where you’re going.
But with time and some self-discovery, you’ll gain an even deeper, stronger sense of who you are.
For instance – maybe you just got out of a long-term relationship. You feel lost because so much of your identity was tied to your ex-partner. But as you allow yourself to discover who you are without a partner – you gain a new, stronger sense of self – one that is not dependent on being in a relationship.
4. Everyone Feels Lost Sometimes
It’s okay to be lost because everyone feels lost sometimes. Even those who seem to have it all figured out struggle with these same feelings.
But many people ignore these feelings by keeping themselves so busy they have no time for reflection.
However, it’s important to face our feelings rather than suppress them. If we don’t deal with our difficult emotions in healthy ways, they’ll unconsciously seek expression in our lives in negative ways. We might overeat, overspend, or indulge in other ways to make up for the emptiness we feel inside.
It takes courage to admit that you’re actually quite lost – rather than pretending to have all the answers.
Embrace ‘being lost’ and allow yourself to find a new path. One that is in line with your values, desires, and the highest version of who you really are.
Tips for Becoming Unlost
1. Embrace Your Own Journey
Let go of comparing yourself to others. Stop judging yourself and, instead, show yourself some love and compassion. There is no one else in the world exactly like you. So why do we expect ourselves to have similar timelines and achievements as others?
Stop trying to imitate someone else’s life, and become present in your own story. Cultivate the courage to embrace your own, unique path – regardless of what others may think.
2. Practice Old Fashioned ‘Trial and Error’
When you don’t know which path to take – move into action. Allow yourself to try new things and take risks. Be okay with the fact that you might fail. Mistakes are necessary because we learn from them. They teach us what we want and don’t want, and what truly matters to us.
Have fun with this process. Think of it as play. Follow what genuinely sparks your interests and passion. Don’t box yourself into a certain label. It’s okay to have multiple and varied interests and hobbies.
3. Get Grounded Within
Often when we feel lost, it’s because we’ve lost connection to the deeper part of who we really are – a.k.a. our ‘Higher Self.’ This self is in tune with the natural world, and the larger universe all around you. When you feel connected to your higher self, fear and anxiety naturally fade away.
There are many types of ‘grounding’ exercises. My favorite is simple meditation – with deep breathing. But try out different things and find what works for you.
Ways to Feel Grounded:
- Spend time in nature
- Yoga
- Meditation
- Long walks
- Journaling/ quiet reflection
- Read a spiritual or inspirational book
- A hot bath or relaxing massage
- Go barefoot on grass
- Jump in the ocean
- Do Something Creative
Make it a habit to feel grounded consistently. When I feel grounded it feels like I’m no longer all alone. I feel connected to something bigger than my small self. I also gain a natural sense of peace, calm and a feeling of well-being that everything will be alright.
4. Trust Yourself
It’s okay to be lost, but if you’re stuck worrying about the future – this is not a good place to be. Replace worry and doubt with trusting yourself.
We will never be able to know or control what lies ahead. However, we don’t have to live in constant anxiety. Instead, we can choose to trust in our natural ability to respond sufficiently to whichever situation comes our way.
Maybe you’ve made some mistakes in the past. Or haven’t dealt with situations the best you could have. It doesn’t matter. It’s time to let go of the past and forgive yourself.
You can’t get far in life, or feel truly at ease, unless you trust yourself. Trust your decisions and your ability to handle difficult outcomes. You got this. Let go of doubt – nothing beneficial ever comes of it. Choose to trust and believe in yourself and the brightness of your future ahead.
Just keep trudging along, find what lights you up – follow that, and trust yourself. Eventually, you’ll find the path that’s just right for you.
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These are very informative and definitely like the ways to be grounded. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you! Yes, remembering to find what keeps us grounded is so important!
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