We’re all searching for a sense of meaning in our lives. Without meaning, we feel lost.
Most of us believe our lives need some major purpose in order to be meaningful. But these high expectations lead to…
- Striving for special-ness, to be the best or most powerful
- Believing we must accomplish something BIG – become a multi-millionaire, get famous, or save the world
- Becoming too goal-oriented and future focused
- Not being able to perceive value in people, things or experiences which are not attached to some future goal
It’s as if simply living our lives is just not enough nowadays.
Beauty is Pointless
Osho, the Indian spiritual teacher and mystic (1931-1990), had a unique perspective on the meaning of life:
“A beautiful flower, or a beautiful painting, or beautiful music – they don’t have any point… Neither are they a means to achieve any end… And living consists only of those things that have no point at all”
Osho
When was the last time you allowed yourself to do something totally pointless? The best things in life: love, art, music, family, travel, joy, laughter – don’t have a point – as in they’re not a means to get to some future goal.
Rather, they are a means within themselves. True love does not have a goal. When you’re in love, it’s enough just to be with that person. Time stands still. You feel fully alive. The moment is enough and complete.
The Value of Love
Osho continues, “And anything that has no answer to the question, ‘For what?’ slowly becomes of no value to you. That’s how love has become valueless… Of course, love has no point in that way. It is pointless… In other words, living is significant in itself. The means and ends are together, not separate.”
When we believe everything we do must be attached to some greater goal, we lose ourselves in busy-ness. Life becomes dull and empty. We see the value in people for only what they can do for us. The present moment becomes only a stepping stone to get to some imaginary future, seemingly more meaning-filled moment.
Forget about Purpose
Chloe Hakim-Moore in her viral TED Talk (2020) advises us to stop chasing purpose and instead focus on wellness. She explains,
“So you consume and you grasp and you take in so much all the time looking for ‘How do I make this better?’ And the truth is I don’t think it’s through purpose…What we’re looking for when you see protests, when you see people fighting causes or going to work – you’re looking for fulfillment. We’re looking for peace inside and we’re looking for ‘how do we act well and be well with one another?'”
Achieving some big ‘purpose’ will not guarantee fulfillment. Don’t sacrifice your wellness for some imaginary future thinking that achievement alone will make you feel whole.
She concludes, “How do we make world peace when we don’t know how to have peace for ourselves? So if you want to save the world… You start with you. You start with figuring out ‘What does health look like for me: physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, spiritually?’”
Focus on Wholeness Now
When you find inner peace and fulfillment within yourself first, you’ll naturally want to share it with others. You won’t have to force yourself to achieve a purpose. Instead, serving others will feel effortless and it’ll feel good – because it feeds your spirit.
“…(Make a commitment) to cultivating wellness for yourself… And I can guarantee you – you will enjoy your life so much more, which is truly the reason we’re here.” (Hakim-Moore)
Define Meaning in a New Way
Living without chasing purpose doesn’t mean you become a lazy hedonist. You don’t stop setting goals and working towards them.
Instead, it means finding value in your life now, in the present moment. Find significance in how you go about living your life every day, rather than in merely what you do or achieve.
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear, for newer and richer experience.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Being Present is Enough
It’s not that life is utterly pointless. But, rather, it’s significance is completely beyond what our limited human minds can comprehend through thinking about it.
So give up trying to understand your purpose here. Because it will always be a mystery.
Make Time for Meaningless-ness
Whenever you find yourself feeling empty or dead inside, remember to make time for things that are totally ‘meaningless.’
Do something for no reason other than you just enjoy doing it. Take up playing an instrument or an outdoor sport. Paint a picture. Go jump in the ocean. Dance. Be silly. Laugh.
You’ll feel like a child again –filled with the wonder of existence. Soon, you’ll remember the feeling of real joy. Of loving without strings attached.
Read Related: 10 Powerful Ways Mindfulness Changed my Life
What About Goals?
James Clear, author of the international best-seller Atomic Habits, writes:
“Are goals completely useless? Of course not. Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress. A handful of problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems.”
Systems are the processes, or habits, that lead to your goal. For example, if you want to become a published writer, your system is how often you practice writing, receiving feedback, and submitting pieces to publishers.
Goals are important because they help us define where we want to go. They challenge us to improve and get out of our comfort zones.
However, seeking the achievement of goals alone for fulfillment is a flawed strategy. Instead, focus on creating systems that will lead to your goal but are rewarding within themselves.
“When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.” (James Clear, Atomic Habits)
Focus on the Process
So what’s the best way to experience meaning? Become so enthralled in whatever you’re doing that you forget all about time, and the concept of meaning.
Don’t wait until you achieved something ‘meaningful’ to start enjoying life. There is enough significance in the journey alone – in joy, presence, and living life with enthusiasm.
“Enthusiasm means there is deep enjoyment in what you do plus the added element of a goal or a vision that you work toward… You will feel like an arrow that is moving toward the target — and enjoying the journey.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Get Out of Your Head
Beware of dwelling on existential mind-bombs like ‘what’s the point in living?‘ You’ll never find a suitable answer and it’ll likely only leave you more depressed.
Instead, get out of your head and into your senses –into the present.
Stare into your lover’s eyes. Go on an adventure. Laugh with a friend. Lose yourself in nature, or in a musical masterpiece. It’s in these extraordinarily ordinary moments that the meaning of living becomes so clear. But it’s something that can only be felt and experienced –never defined.
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Hi, Soo! I really enjoyed and appreciated learning about this perspective. It’s very empowering to think of finding fulfillment through the process versus the outcome. I often feel like I wasted the past couple of years by not working toward a degree instead of just appreciating the people I’ve talked to and new things I experienced during that time. I’m excited to learn more about changing this mindset!
Hi Lizzie!
Thanks for reading my blog! I’m glad you’re able to explore a new perspective instead of just regretting your past!